See the list of all the Shirtless Chef recipes at www.mysaline.com/shirtless.
Recently I found a favorite tv show from my childhood streaming on Amazon…the one and only Fall Guy. I loved this show as a kid. I loved the song, the truck, the action, and Heather Thomas didn’t hurt my interest at all. After watching the pilot again with adult eyes, I implore any of you with fond memories of The Fall Guy…DO NOT WATCH IT. It’s bad. So, so bad.
You know how some shows are so bad that they are good? This ain’t it. If you even feel you might do a search for it, take a hammer and smash your firestick, or throw a brick through your smart TV, or just get off the damn couch and go for a walk.
They did the intro song and credits twice! In the same show! I thought I had jumped to a new episode, but nope…they just ran it back in case you didn’t get enough the first time. And I have to say, once you get 4 to 5 verses deep into “The Unknown Stuntman” the lyrics get more watered down than Colt Seviers shooting down a raging river.
I beg of you, if you have fond memories of The Fall Guy from childhood, keep them how they are now. It’s all lies and falsehoods, but sometimes that’s better than the truth.
On a more positive note, I also found the sitcom “What’s Happening!!” streaming for the first time since I was a kid. This show was just as good now as it was when I would watch it after school. The writing is still smart, Dee is still hilarious, and they only do one theme song per show.
One thing did stick out from each show that relates to cooking and eating. In my memories from childhood, I remembered Fred Berry’s character “Rerun” as being very overweight. The show always referenced him being heavy and out of shape, despite his athletic jump kicks and dance moves. The opening credits even have him not being able to catch the truck that Rog and Dwayne hitch a ride in and he flails at the tailgate as it drives off.
Compared to today’s standards, however, he is not heavy at all. If I saw him out in town, nothing about his weight would catch my eye at all. He’d just be a regular guy in regular shape. Rog might be more noticeable because he was so slim.
The Fall Guy caught my eye because right now I’m 8 years older than Lee Majors was in that show, yet he looks old enough that he could have been my father. He was 42 years old, but I would have guessed 65. The main thing I took away from the show, other than ruined childhood memories, was how often they called each other “turkeys”. Was that still a thing in 1981? I guess it was, but man, did it make the show feel dated. Hey Hey Hey still felt brand new.
So, you turkeys, we are staying with turkey for this week’s article. Ground turkey is my go to protein of choice for most cooking. It’s leaner than ground beef, has a mild flavor that you can control with spices, and never is filled with chewy gristle that used to ruin the casseroles of my childhood while I was watching truly awful tv shows.
I found myself without anything new and crazy to cook this weekend worthy of an article, so I decided to do what so many of us do, look in the fridge and see what I could scrounge up. I guess The Fall Guy spoke it into existence, because baked turkey patties were now on the menu.
Back in the day, I used to make these things with a box of stovetop stuffing mixed into the meat. I just looked it up and of course, there are more ingredients and big words listed than I have the energy to deal with right now. It has “Interesterified” soybean oil, which sounds like a bottle of oil watched one of those Science Channel shows where they admit that asteroids whiz by the earth out of nowhere all the time, and now it is equal parts interested and terrified.
It’s actually much worse than that. Interesterified fats have replaced hydrogenated vegetable fats in most mass produced foods, and of course, it promotes weight gain, impaired glucose tolerance, and increases liver cellular markers, according to the National Library of Medicine.
Once again, it’s corporations messing around trying to find the cheapest way to make shelf stable convenience foods without regard for any long term consequences. What a bunch of turkeys. One serving of stuffing has 21 grams of carbs and 430 mg of sodium. Doesn’t sound too terribly bad, until you realize that there are 6 – count ’em – 6 servings in a box.
And you know what? These patties never needed them. In fact, it kind of had the effect of dropping your dinner in a pile of sawdust at the mill. I used diced onions to up the moisture and flavor. If you don’t like onions, you can leave them out, of course, but this dish is onion heavy, and I make no apologies.
I also used to make these patties with a box of Kraft Shells and Cheese. I really used to put a lot of trust in Kraft, apparently. Man, was I stupid. It had that nuclear orange “cheese” that you squeeze out of a shiny plastic package, and that just isn’t how cheese should behave under any circumstances.
I have included my baked cauliflower mac and cheese, because these two things go together like Rerun and dancing, and the nutrition and health benefits of this mac and cheese is so far above and beyond it would break modern measuring devices.
Bake this up for a quick and delicious meal that also won’t make you feel like a stuntman that was set on fire, thrown off a building, and then hit by a truck. Or even worse, forced to watch an episode of “The Fall Guy.”
Baked bbq turkey patties with cauliflower mac & cheese
1 lb ground turkey
1 yellow onion, finely diced
1 yellow onion, sliced into rings
1 package baby bella mushrooms sliced
1/2 tsp sea salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder, dried oregano, parsley
1 cup low sugar bbq sauce
Mac and cheese:
2 head cauliflower, chopped into bite sized pieces
1 bunch green onions
1/2 tsp sea salt, pepper, smoked paprika, onion and garlic powder
1/2 cup grass fed heavy cream
1 cup grass fed cheddar cheese
2 ounces cream cheese
2 tsp dijon mustard
1/8 tsp sea salt
Prepare your cauliflower and toss with the spices. Chop the green onions and use the white parts only with the cauliflower. Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper:
Dice one onion and place in a mixing bowl with the turkey and spices:
Wear gloves with some non-stick sprayed on them, and weight out 2 ounce servings. Flatten into patty shape and place on a baking sheet sprayed with non-stick:
Bake both the patties and cauliflower at 425 degrees for 15 minutes. Stir and rotate the cauliflower, flip and rotate the patties, then bake for another 15 minutes. When the last 15 minutes starts, melt the cream cheese in a large saucepan. Add the mustard and salt, then add the cream and heat through. Slowly add the shredded cheddar. Stir until melted and smooth:
In another large saute pan, cook the mushrooms and onions until soft with a grind of pepper. Drain any excess moisture and remove from the pan, cover to keep hot:
When the last 15 minutes are up, stir the cauliflower into the cheese mix:
Add the patties to the pan used to cook the mushrooms and onions. Pour in enough bbq sauce to cover. Add the mushrooms and onions back and heat through:
I usually have a picture of a dinner plate, but this was so good, it was all gone before I thought about taking a pic, so you’ll just have to trust me…unlike Kraft.