I don’t know exactly when it happened. Somewhere along the way, adults took something kids naturally know how to do…and made it incredibly complicated.
This week alone, my social media feed has been full of videos and stories that honestly made me cringe. Parents arguing with parents. Fans yelling at officials. Coaches losing their composure. Adults behaving in ways we’d NEVER tolerate from the very kids we’re supposed to be teaching.
And it left me asking a simple question:
When did we forget that the kids are watching us too?
I’ve said for years that adults have complicated youth sports. Not the kids – the kids still know exactly why they showed up. They came to play. To compete. To laugh with their teammates. To chase a ball. To wear the jersey. To celebrate a win. To learn from a loss.
They’ll shake hands after the game and be chasing each other around the parking lot ten minutes later. The sad reality is that it’s usually the adults who struggle to let it go.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m competitive. Very competitive. I’ve spent enough time on basketball courts to know that I don’t enjoy losing any more today than I did twenty years ago. I understand passion. I understand caring deeply. I even understand disagreeing with a call or wishing something had gone differently. But what I can’t, for the life of me, understand is the adults acting like the latest episode of Parent’s Gone Wild!
There’s a difference between being passionate…and forgetting how to behave. Not a fine line. A big bold, unmistakable line! Let’s lump it in with “home training.” The common sense, and courtesy, that’s maybe not so common anymore.
You don’t have to like everyone. You don’t have to agree with everyone. But, there ought to be an expectation that we treat people with respect.
Especially in public.
Especially in front of children.
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One thing I’ve noticed over the years is how easy it is for all of us to leave our values in the parking lot when competition starts.
I’ve always found it interesting how some people can fill their social media with Bible verses all week…and then spend Saturday afternoon yelling things across a ballfield that would make Grandma blush.
Somewhere between the parking lot and the first pitch, we forget the very values we’re trying to teach our kids.
Because whether we realize it or not, we’re teaching every single minute we’re around them. Every conversation. Every reaction.Every comment from the stands.Every Facebook post after the game. Every time we decide whether to encourage or embarrass. As the old saying goes “Little Eyes are Watching”.
They’re learning how adults handle disappointment. How adults handle conflict. How adults treat officials. How adults treat people who disagree with them. And if we’re honest…sometimes we’re not giving them a very good example to follow.
Here’s the irony.
Most of us signed our kids up for sports hoping they’d learn things like discipline, teamwork, perseverance, humility, and respect. Then we spend the game modeling the exact opposite.
That’s a hard truth. But I think it’s one worth sitting with.
Because youth sports were never supposed to be just about developing better athletes. They were supposed to help develop better people. And that includes us.
So maybe before the next game starts… Before the first call we don’t like. Before the first coaching decision we question. Before emotions get the best of us…maybe we remember who’s really watching.
Not the fans.
Not social media.
Not even the scoreboard.
The kids.
The very kids we’re hoping grow up knowing how to carry themselves with character.And maybe the greatest lesson they’ll learn this season won’t come from a coach or a teammate.Maybe it’ll come from watching the adults in the stands choose respect.
Because in the end, our children will remember far less about the score than they will about how the adults around them acted when the game was on the line. Let’s make sure that’s a lesson worth remembering.
And that’s how the ball really bounces.
Read more from How the Ball Bounces with Bekka in the archives at www.mysaline.com/bounces.
About the author: Bekka Wilkerson is a lifelong lover of all things sports. Raised in a super athletic household it was no surprise when she too began to love sports at a young age. It seems like from the time she could walk she had a softball bat in her hands, but her true athletic passion came from all things Basketball. That love served her well as a Bryant High School Lady Hornet and ultimately earned her a full scholarship to play at the University of Central Arkansas – among many other adventures.
These days Bekka can be found running around Saline County with her husband, Speedy, or chasing one of her grandsons. She is also the Executive Director of The EMpact One Foundation, a Saline County Nonprofit Organization that helps young people stay connected to extracurricular activities through tuition assistance and equipment provisions.
Reach out to Bekka with questions and/or ideas about things you want to see in this column at [email protected] and learn more about The EMpact One Foundation at www.empactone.org.
