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Your Opinion: Couples Who Share Email or Social Media Accounts

I have seen this in several places, and different people have different reasons for it. But from the viewpoint of someone (perhaps me) who is trying to get a message through, I have to wonder if the spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend got the message when the intended recipient was the other person. I also have to wonder which one of the duo is making the comment on Facebook or wherever.

I used to have this problem before Facebook existed, and before many of my friends even had email. Why? Because of "Southwestern Bell Call Notes." This was the digital voicemail service - for those of you young enough to have never had a landline phone - that the local phone company used. Users were able to make one account or several, so that the caller could pick who they wanted to receive the message. This effectively rendered the service no better than telling the phone answerer to write down a message. You have to rely on that person to get the message through.

So I've had this question for a while... Why? Why can't folks have separate accounts? Are you doing it so there will be no secrets between each other? Because it's not difficult to make up a new email and open a new social media account if somebody did want to keep secrets. I don't want to freak people out. I just want to know why the rest of us have to be subjected to the weirdness.

This is Shelli talking. That's my name up there saying this is my blog. I approve this message (until someone changes my mind).

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Comment by Laura Butler on April 23, 2014 at 9:00am
Don't like it at all. Seems weird. Confusing and unnecessary. Did you give up your identity when became a couple? Accounts are free. No reason to share. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
Comment by Thelma Edwards Poole on April 23, 2014 at 6:13am

Facebook must be making a bundle off sharing credentials with the world.

Comment by Carlton Clay on April 22, 2014 at 11:34pm
People use Facebook for a lot of things that actually have value in maintaining positive relationships. For the manner in which Facebook was set up- I can't see any value in having shared accounts. Share your pass word if you think there's a trust issue. Facebook is now used as a log on option for many accounts- even email accounts. ( think about it for a minute- seems odd email providers would let you use your Facebook account as login credentials)
Comment by Thelma Edwards Poole on April 22, 2014 at 7:06pm

My pastor and his wife only have one email. They are over 70. He tends the email and answers rather promptly. It is easier to get an answer by email than phone call. She is a busy lady and doesn't have much time for email. I still email her occasionally and get an answer from him. As long as it works for them, it works for me.

Comment by Thelma Edwards Poole on April 22, 2014 at 7:01pm

Most of the people who share email accounts tend to be over 65. One of the pair just doesn't want the bother of email. It is almost always in the man's name, even if the wife tends the account. I think it is a hold over from business processes when they were young. My husband and I are over 65 and we don't want to be bothered to sort through all the other one's email. I always wonder who is sending the email. My cousin and my brother-in-law are two I know. I never know who sends the email at times. It must be my bro in law who sends all the political put downs. I think it is my counsin's husband who sends pics of their grands.

I can't even imagine a single joint Facebook account!

Comment by Jason Kavanaugh on April 22, 2014 at 9:14am

Me and my wife have thought long and hard about sharing facebook accounts. We've talked to several couples that do and the primary motivator seems to be distrust. It always comes back to "It is so easy to start an inappropriate relationship online".

After we talked about it we decided that it wasn't much of a testament to the strength of our marriage if we couldn't trust each other not to start relationships like that...

Comment by sharon handel on April 22, 2014 at 9:14am
I also agree with Ken when trust is an issue sharing an account won't change that, but keeping everthing a secret makes it worse. When one person has good reason to distrust the other person there should be a desire to prove yourself by being open and honest.
Comment by sharon handel on April 22, 2014 at 9:08am
I agree with Amanda, we should have our own accounts and that way no one else is commenting for me. Just because we are married does' nt mean we agree on everything or have all the same beliefs. I am glad for our ability to have different ideas. That being said i don' t understand the need to hide passwords from your spouse. There shouldn' t be anything to hide.
Comment by Ken Morris on April 21, 2014 at 9:42pm
I have to say, I am not a big fan of sharing email, Facebook or most other accounts. Just because you are married does not mean you cease to be a person with your own goings on. However, were it a matter of trust. Then, no amount of shared email nor anything else would help.
Comment by Shelli Russell on April 21, 2014 at 8:46pm

Now that totally makes sense if just one person is operating the account. And I couldn't care less what they do, except it's confusing to others when you don't know who's talking or who got your message.

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