Social Security Took Momma’s Bedspread Bathrobe
One of the great things about being an old Southern woman is that you can do whatever you want and nobody cares. Ma told me when I turned 40, “Youvonna, you can do whatever you want and people will forgive you because at 40 you are an official old crone.” She’s right. It gets even better after 50.
Momma bought herself 3 new bathrobes made out of chenille that look…Continue
The Day Bubba Washed Booger Ray
Sister Nettiebelle has been harassing the local dog pound for quite some time now. Clint Eastwood wants a real live Jed-Clampet-bloodhound-like-Duke to train as a search-and-rescue dog for his work in the local volunteer fire department. The cheapskate that she is, Sister would not turn loose of the money to buy a dog, so she made Clint wait.
Either the dog pound got tired of the…Continue
The Farting Mule
“Hey, Daddy, it’s Youvonna,” I said.
“How are you doing, Bonna,” he asked.
“I be fine. How’s Saint Elaine?”
“She’s right here. Do you want to talk to her?
After spending a few minutes talking with my favorite step mom about canning salsa, putting up corn, and her sister Connie’s to-die-for coconut cake, she put me back on the phone with Daddy.
“Hey, Daddy, is the cornfield…Continue
Are You A Mule or A Hiney?
Daddy now lives outside of Tupelo, Mississippi, with our step-mom Saint Elaine. Sister Nettiebelle called him up the other day for some common horse-sense advice.
“Daddy, I need to know something.” she said, “How do I know if my gelded stud is doing his job?”
“What do you mean?” Daddy asked.
“Well, I put him into the pen with four hot mares and he wouldn’t do a thing in…Continue