Editor’s Note: This special episode (or is it an issue?) of Krystle’s Bookworm Diaries is an interview of author Tricia Goyer, the mother of 10 children, who lives in Bryant. See the book review of “The Grumble-Free Year” at mysaline.com/krystle-grumble-free.
Hello, dear readers! Do you remember last week when I told you about “The Grumble-Free Year” by local author, Tricia Goyer? Well, I had the opportunity to meet up with her and chat about her family’s journey to a grumble-free lifestyle! I won’t call it an interview, because it didn’t feel like that. Do you have that one friend in your circle who always gives you sound advice? It felt like that. Just a conversation with a friend, sharing life experience. I shouldn’t have been surprised, thinking back, that’s how I felt reading the book as well.
I was curious to know how the people around her responded when they found out about the family’s grumble-free goal. Most people close to the family just wondered how the Goyers would even pull this off. I can relate. Before reading the book, it seemed like a wonderful concept, but I thought “How would I ever pull this off with my family?” So, if you’re like me, keep in mind that Tricia took on this challenge with more than ten people in her house. All of them with different personalities, different ages, different issues. Not to mention the unplanned obstacles they faced during that year. If the Goyers could find success, I think that should be encouragement that we all can!
What’s neat about this book is that it is relevant to anybody. You don’t have to be a mom of ten to realize that recalibrating your brain from complaining to being grateful might be a good thing. Show me anyone who couldn’t benefit from that. I’ll wait.
“Everyone has a response to it,” Tricia said. “They’re either like ‘Oh my goodness, yes.’ Or ‘No. I don’t want to read it. I don’t want to think about it.’ Because grumbling kind of feels good in the middle of it.”
And if we’re all being honest with ourselves, we know she’s right. In the midst of our grumbling we feel a sense of justification, or martyrdom. Ultimately, what do we accomplish by grumbling, though? According to Tricia, it can escalate you, make you feel yucky, and also cause the person listening to all your complaints to take up an offense on your behalf. But does it solve any issues?
Now, in case you’re like me and you’re thinking, “But Krystle, sometimes I NEED to talk through my issues with someone! It can’t be healthy to bottle everything up all the time?!” You’re not wrong. When I brought this up in conversation with Tricia she put me at ease saying, “There can be grumbling that’s really to try to find a solution, or there can just be grumbling to put someone down.” It’s a fine line to walk, but if we keep our focus on finding solutions, then we’re accomplishing something good. That being said, let’s all agree not to use this as a grumble loophole, okay?
One thing I found most refreshing about the book, and also in our conversation, was Tricia’s openness to say when something didn’t work. Multiple times in the book, she writes about her own grumbling failures, and how she went to her children to ask for forgiveness. That level of honesty and humility is what gives her advice credibility. If she had written this book about her five easy steps to eliminate complaining, I would have scoffed. But instead she was honest, and it made me feel like this is possible, albeit challenging.
If you decide to take on this challenge for yourself, don’t be discouraged if you aren’t making as much progress as you hoped. The Goyers experienced setbacks and discouraging moments throughout the year, but they also had great success. “It’s like anything,” Tricia said. “If you work on it long enough, it’s gonna start sticking.” And now, because of their commitment as a family, they’ve made a noticeable shift to gratitude as a default reaction, rather than grumbling.
If you’re interested in more about “The Grumble-Free Year” check outfor information on where to purchase the book, daily email resources, and also look for an online video series coming in early 2020!
Krystle Goodman is a crazy cat lady, who loves to drink exorbitant amounts of coffee, and read a shocking amount of books. She lives in Benton with her husband Josh, her son Roman, and their two cats Roxanne and Abby. When she isn’t reading, you’ll find her cooking, painting, or watching true crime shows. Watch for Krystle’s book reviews every other Friday. Send fanmail to: firstname.lastname@example.org
See more of Krystle’s reviews at www.mysaline.com/krystle.